'Twas the day of the concert, the oboist was sad;
He'd
shredded the tip of the best reed he had.
He threw down the reed and he
hung down his head,
With a catch in his voice, he ruefully said,
"If
only I had a PERFECT REED!
One that would satisfy all of my needs.
A
reed with response and control and dark tone,
One that would last for my
lifetime," he moaned.
Just then, right before him, the Devil appeared,
With horns on his head
and a black pointed beard.
He said, "For a price, you can have what
you need. "
From under his cape he brought one PERFECT REED.
Made with gold staple and rainbow-hued thread,
"This reed,"
stated Satan, "will never go dead."
The oboist started to drool
with greed,
"Name your price, Lucifer, I must have that reed !"
The Devil snapped, "Fine, I lay claim to your soul,
Since this
PERFECT REED is your only goal."
"You're on," said the
oboist, "I'll gladly pay.
My soul doesn't help me make reeds, anyway."
The reed was debuted in the concert that night,
And the oboist knew
everything was just right.
Every nuance succeeded, each solo was enhanced .
The audience was agog, even the conductor was entranced.
"This oboist," they vowed, "is the best we have heard ! "
So after the concert they spread the good word.
The oboist's fame and his
fortune increased,
Enticements for concerts and recordings never ceased.
But then one dark night, preparing for Grieg,
As he opened the reed
case and grasped the REED,
The cork seemed too slick and it slipped from
his hand.
The REED fell and split on the base of the stand.
The oboist turned purple, exploding with rage,
He burst a blood vessel
and died on the stage.
He missed Purgatory and went straight to Hades,
Where Vivaldi concerti are the only things played.
The moral of this story is simple to see,
One cannot rely on a single
great reed.
There're good ones and bad ones and many between,
Some
that work easily, others seem mean.
But unearthly reeds will not last on this land;
To keep a good job, you
must wield a deft hand.
Have lots of Arundo Donax in stock,
Or your
neck might replace your reed on the block.